Finding Our Stride 

I've been on the targeted meds for seven days now. I have not had any negative side effects - so thankful! I'm struggling to find my stride because it seems I have plenty of other symptoms to navigate and they change a bit from day to day. The most frustrating is that I'm not tracking as well as I usually do and have made some mistakes in business and medication that leave me feeling rattled and unsure. Is it stress, or are the Brain Bastard Babies making inroads? I'm also a bit wobbly in my balance and have decided that I should probably not go to town on my own until the meds start shrinking things. I despise losing any independence.

Just to be raw and honest for a minute, when I found out it was in my brain, I faced a powerful fear of losing cognition. I treasure words, ideas, thoughts, deep conversations above many things and the thought that I might be robbed of these things was terrible. I have so much I still want to do with my brain. I've decided to focus on healing for now.... and leave the path of it to the Almighty. A friend encouraged me to write even if I'm afraid it won't make sense.

Here are some beautiful things that are making me laugh and smile....

* This handsome dude and I are celebrating 26 years of marriage today. We celebrated with dinner out and relaxed enough to talk about some of our deep, philosophical ideas. It felt good to be "us" again for a few moments.

*It is strawberry season and we picked a boatload the other night. When I found any berries past their prime, I would toss them into the chicken run and watch the mayhem that would ensue. If you have never seen a chicken grab a strawberry and run pell mell to get away from the other hens, you really should. I'm pretty sure the amusement of it can cure cancer.

*Friends weeding my garden. 

*Mr. Blueberry Eyes and my son-in-law (I need to give him a blog name) laid weed cloth in my garden so I can finish planting. (Yes, I'm woefully late.)

*I am so deeply moved and humbled by the overwhelming generosity of people who have contributed to the GoFundMe account set up in my name. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. Pleases know it is very important to me to put the money exactly where it is intended - medical bills and expenses not covered by lost wages. There will be no extravagant spending. 

                                                                                                          - Nanette